Keith Anderson, My New Neighbor

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August 23, 2014 by pyaase

“You ain’t human. Dere just ain’t no way you human.”

It was hard to convince my dinner date otherwise. Sitting over his onion burger, a fish sandwich, a milkshake, and my own meal of 6 chicken nuggets, our conversation was as odd as our selection of cuisine. It seemed the longer we talked the harder it was for Keith to consider me human.

“So I guess you don’t have any time for any hanky-panky, do you?” I studied him. He wasn’t trying to make me uncomfortable in the slightest. He was genuinely curious. I also was used to my homeless friends to dive into personal matters suddenly.

“Well. No. I don’t.” I didn’t know where to go with that. I was going to add, “but that’s okay,” but I had this odd desire to be fully honest with Keith if he asked anything, and I knew inside I was incredibly lonely in the terms of long term relationships, so I’d be lying if I said that.

“In credible. Young professional like you. Ain’t never had any hanky panky, ain’t got time for any kind of loving cause she’s too busy loving her 400 kids!” He was truly baffled, but oddly enough it didn’t make me uncomfortable at all. He wasn’t hitting on me or demeaning me or making me feel ignorant like many people (often unintentionally) do when they find out I’m still a virgin. Keith was an older man, in his late 50s. I was outside of his box image of young people, I was genuinely interesting.

“Ain’t never been been with a man. Ain’t never lived up North. Teaching a four hundred kids music fresh out of college. And you just ain’t human.” 

Keith shook his head in disbelief as he listened to me describe my job again. He either loved hearing it repeated, or he didn’t remember what I had described minutes earlier. It was hard to tell. 

“I’m tired about me, Keith. It’s your turn. If you could do anything, what would you do for a job?”

“Who me? I’m just an an an an ordinary man. I justa son of God who’s studyin in seminary. Uh huh, yes sir ree. Imma in seminary. Did you know you’s a child of God?” He adjusted his worn purple beanie on his head.

If you’re the average “Christian” American like myself, it’s not everyday you treat a homeless man to dinner, but I actually wasn’t surprised when HE evangelized to ME. Most of the homeless freinds I have had the pleasure of talking to (like Tasha in June) have an admirable faith. I listened to Keith explain to me his plan to finish seminary one day. 

“So do you want to preach after that?”

“Preach? No. Imma just called to seminary. Did you know you’s a child of God?”

We went in circles a couple times in the conversation, but I didn’t mind. We boiled down to two points:

Neither of us have time for hanky-panky, and we both can be preaching God’s love without being preachers.